This gives him guilt in two ways. On the one hand, he feels guilty for loving someone who could commit such horrible crimes, and on the other hand, he feels that he has failed him in some way and that he could have brought her comfort or helped her deal with her own guilt and fear. This story is told as a memory, and so the older man struggles with all the guilt and meaning his experience has created in him: "Why does it make me so sad when I think back to that time ? (37). He remembers specific moments and questions their meaning. His feeling of having disappointed Hanna is linked to his memory of the moment he saw her looking at him at the swimming pool: "Sometimes I tried to tell myself that it wasn't her I saw... But I knew it was her. and I looked - and it was too late” (83). This emotional illiteracy can have many reasons. For Michele it may be the lack of adulthood she has experienced in her life and for Hannah it may be because of the pain and suffering she has experienced.