His response was short and curt: “He had no good qualities. » Looking back, I think my investigation awakened his need to have a flawless face. By asking her questions, her constitutive filter assumed that I was pointing out the bad choice she had made in marrying him. This insulted her need to be blameless and, in turn, she ended the conversation altogether. I attempted to ask two follow-up questions, heavily filled with statements asserting that I was not passing judgment on her. However, her response remained the same and she simply ended the conversation. Another need of my mother is that of the accomplished volunteer who sacrifices himself in the service of others. For the most part, it's a quality I'm grateful she possesses. However, it causes conflict when I see that she is serving others instead of taking care of herself. This is especially evident in the constantly messy and overloaded state of his house, car, and garden. During my last visit, I grew increasingly frustrated when each morning I had to clear new piles from the breakfast nook to eat. Although it has two separate dining tables, they are both covered in objects and are not used for serving meals. On the third day, I passive-aggressively asked her if it bothered her to move things around all the time. While not the best approach, it allowed for a little discussion about his hoarding. My mother does not consider keeping an organized, clutter-free home more important than serving her community and she is unlikely to change this behavior. However, when I visit her, I get anxious at her house and feel like I will never be able to completely rest or relax. I don't feel like I can safely share these feelings, but hiding them makes me feel inauthentic. As a result, screw...... middle of article .......Laursen, B. (2005, October-December). Conflicts between mothers and adolescents in single-parent, blended and two-biological parent families. Parenting: Science and Practice, 5(4), 347-370. Pearce, W. B. (2004). Coordinated management of meaning (CMM). Retrieved May 16, 2014 from http://www.pearceassociates.com/: http://www.pearceassociates.com/essays/cmm_pearce.pdf Rath, T. (2007). Strengths Search 2.0. New York, NY: Gallup Press. Walker, L.J. and Henning, K.H. (1997). Parent/child relationships in single-parent families. Canadian Journal of Behavioral Sciences, 29(1), 63-75. Zambianchi, M. and Bitti, PE (April 2014). The role of proactive coping strategies, time perspective, perceived emotion regulation efficacy, divergent thinking, and family communication in promoting social well-being in adulthood is emerging. Research on social indicators, 116(2), 493-507.