A friend recently introduced me to a quote from Kurt Vonnegut. This was only mentioned in passing and was probably only intended to continue the conversation, but I returned to it several times in my thoughts. The quote was a warning: “Be careful who you say you are, because you are who you say you are.” The truth behind this feeling is far more relevant to our lives than we would like to think. We all have visions of who we are based on what we know, how we compare ourselves to others, and how we try to act, but the reality of who we are exists independent of that personal ideal. The truth is that regardless of our apparent individuality, the way we act around others, the way we dress and speak, and our general influence on others is the strongest indicator of who we are. The idea that we can exist as a unique person in private and view ourselves as something different within society is simply disingenuous. If I start drinking and making a fool of myself and go home to read Proust and Percy, then what does that mean I'm anything other than the idiot I pretended to be. Identity is truly a difficult concept to understand. It is something we formulate ourselves but which we must leave to others to interpret. Many of the commonalities in our lives are constructed simply to give the impression of a certain identity. The clothes we wear, the cars we drive, and even the way we speak are designed to build an image of ourselves in the minds of others. Yet despite all of this, there is no certainty that our actions will be received as we would like. The only certainty is that our interactions govern both others' perceptions of who we are and our own internalized ideal of who we wish to be. It would appear that...... middle of paper ......However, it is well documented that some of Franklin's hobbies were far from morally justified. He was a womanizer and loved to drink, but these actions did not overshadow the greater value of who he was. Here, Franklin is an ideal example of the basis of identity in public interactions as opposed to private assignments. The reality is simply this: no matter how we wish to be able to exemplify our personal ideal, we are still connected to our identity through others. perceptions of our actions. Whether we want to be loved, ridiculed, or paid well, we must truly live out the personas we develop in order to receive the title of lovable, prankster, or mogul. There is no middle ground in this internal struggle between actions and ideals; there is only choice. We must decide what we intend to be and live accordingly, because only then do we stop being pretenders..