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  • Essay / Nature of Same-Sex Relationship: Divorce

    When starting a family as a same-sex couple, there are obvious challenges. We can't have a baby the old fashioned way. One parent may be biologically related, but not both, by definition of the nature of the same-sex relationship. So what happens in the event of divorce? It is common for the biological parent to think they have priority. That's actually the dilemma. Marriage equality has not erased the cultural and legal issues surrounding the family dynamics of same-sex parents. If both parents were a part of the child's life and both parents were involved in the child's upbringing, why should one or the other take priority? But in general, courts are biased. The truth is that the non-biological parent enters the courtroom with only one strike against them. It's certainly an uphill battle. So think about this before starting a family and perhaps as awkward as the discussion may be if you are the non-biological parent, discuss what you would want in the unlikely event of a separation or divorce. Above all, have your rights legally guaranteed in writing before embarking on creating a family with children. Say no to plagiarism. Get a Custom Essay on “Why Violent Video Games Should Not Be Banned”?Get Original Essay We (LGBT) won the right to marry, but divorces are complicated and the laws and courts have not adapted to the new family reality. Gay families are everywhere, and just like our heterosexual counterparts, we face divorce, custody battles, and suffering in the family court system. Based on my experience with the Court, I recommend doing everything in your power to stay out of these proceedings, as they are neither rational nor fair. Eventually, I won custody of my daughter even though I'm not the biological parent, but it was quite a battle. I was granted custody, but with many conditions. Ropes that I'm not sure straight people have to deal with. In my case, the biological mother and father (who gave up their rights and obligations to my daughter so that I could adopt her) argued about biology. I only had one leg to stand on because I went through the long, invasive experience of second-parent adoption that is allowed in New York. The custody battle was a brutal ordeal and one that unfortunately continues. If I hadn't adopted my daughter, there was a good chance I would never have seen her again. I love my daughter with all my heart. I know the best thing for her is to have both of us in her life. Even though I tried multiple times to settle down with my ex, she assumed she would get custody because she was the biological parent. It’s a testament to my dedication to my daughter and the fact that I persevered. Everything was thrown at me. Don't get me wrong. I believe that both nature and nurture are very important in raising a child, but not one at the expense of the other. I think we both should have been treated equally, but New York courts only have jurisdiction to award legal custody to one parent. My ex rolled the proverbial dice and lost. She lost because of the specific facts of my case. But the Court treated me (as a non-biological parent) as if I was a second-class citizen. I felt this prejudice and so my ex continues to use the legal system as a sword. Being a parent is the most rewarding part of my life. Likewise, making a baby is the easy part. Raising children is work..