Table of contentsIntroductionWhy is it important to forgive? (essay)ConclusionWorks CitedIntroduction“The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong. (Gandhi, 1958). Say no to plagiarism. Get a tailor-made essay on “Why Violent Video Games Should Not Be Banned”? Get an original essay “to forgive is to love.” This statement has been analyzed and studied over the years to achieve some form of clarification. Forgiveness is believed to bring increased overall satisfaction to a relationship. This is highlighted in Braithwaite's studies of forgiveness as a mechanism to improve relationship effort and reduce negative conflict between partners. The overall dynamics of conflict tactics have been examined through research on measures such as the "Forgiveness Tendency Scale." This scale showed results of a positive relationship with the measure of dispositional forgiveness, perspective taking, and agreeableness. The results therefore show how there is undoubtedly a connection between forgiveness and love. This connection and the importance of forgiveness are discussed in my essay. I believe forgiveness is an important aspect of everyone's life. I know some religions really emphasize this, but even as a non-religious person I can understand its value and importance in relationships and in your own mental health. Forgiveness is not only for the person you forgive, but also for yourself. The emotional distress you are experiencing must help you get rid of it. Sometimes it is very difficult to forgive someone, especially when you think they have done something unforgivable. Sometimes it's easy to forgive someone when it's just one small thing they did wrong. But in my case, this person was forgiven time and time again when they hurt me. I feel like they don't deserve my forgiveness right now if they continue to choose to do bad over and over again. Why is it important to forgive? (essay) Holding grudges is not healthy. In general, I've never been one to hold grudges for very long. Although in this particular case, I held a grudge, and it's because I'm hurt. I don't feel like I was treated fairly. I feel like I've been wronged, and it's just not right. This document could not have been released at a better time. Over the past few months, I've had a difficult time with a friend. I feel like she forgot me. Every time I try to message him he gets ignored for days. I try to call him and it goes straight to voicemail. I sent him a message on Facebook and he was “seen” but no response. Honestly, it really hurts me. This makes me feel like she doesn't consider me important enough to spend time with her, or even send her a short response. I usually let things slide. When she dumps me and makes plans with other people, I just say something like "well, let me know you don't want to date other people next time" and she's just pulled business. She always apologizes a million times, but your apologies mean nothing to me if you continue to hurt me over and over again. This resentment makes me frustrated, angry and sad. I'm frustrated by his lack of communication. I'm angry that she doesn't even try to talk to me and thinks it's okay to ignore me for days or weeks (even though she can reach me whenever she needs something) . I'm sad because I feel like I'm losing a friend. Holding this grudge makes meemotional and it affects other relationships in my life. The other night my boyfriend tried to have friends over, but I was really upset about the situation and ended up going to bed. It's affecting the relationship between my boyfriend and my other friends because I'm upset. Typically, when you're upset, you just don't want to deal with other people, even if they're not the ones upset you. I didn't feel like communicating with anyone or telling them what was wrong. I just wanted to fall asleep while everyone else was having fun. This doesn't suit me. From her point of view, I understand that she has a little memory problem. She was in a car accident a while ago and it really affected her memory. Maybe she just forgets to answer me. I'm more of a morning person while she's a night person, so maybe I'm contacting her at the wrong time of day. Maybe she's mad at me about something and she's afraid to say it. I know she's like that sometimes. She fears conflict just like me and will avoid it if she can. She is also more emotionally unstable than me. I can't think of anything she'd be mad at me for in particular, other than the fact that I don't come around as much as I used to. She could always come to my house if she wanted, and communication is a two-way street. I don't know if I hurt her in any way, but if I did, I would like her to respond and let me know. I also understand that she just entered a new relationship and is still in that “honeymoon” phase. where she wants to spend as much time as possible with her new boyfriend. He lives two hours from her and his cell phone service isn't good where he lives, so that might also have something to do with his lack of communication. I feel like without this resentment that I hold against him, it would be like a weight on my shoulders. I don't want to stay mad at her but I can't help it. I continue to hold on to these angry feelings because I feel like I'm being treated unfairly and have been for far too long, so it's hard to just forgive and forget. Forgiving him would affect my communication (ch 1) with others in the future. by helping to alleviate my emotional distress over the situation, it will allow me to communicate more easily with others. If I forgive him, my attitude (ch 2) towards situations like this will change, as well as my impression (ch 3) of others who might do this. For example, maybe if another friend of mine tends to ignore me for a while, instead of being angry and holding grudges like I am now, I will have more empathy (ch 4 ) for him and I will understand better (ch 5) where they come from the fact that I have already been in this situation. If I were to communicate with another person who put me in a similar situation to the one I currently find myself in, the best way to give them a response would be with a drawn out response. Language of “I” (ch 6). Instead of saying things like "well, YOU never answered me" or "you don't talk to me anymore", something like "I'm a little upset that we don't talk as much anymore. Is there something wrong and what can I do to fix it? » With this response, I feel like the other person would feel less attacked or threatened and would be more comfortable explaining their situation to me. Typically, you can tell through a person's nonverbal communication (Chapter 7) what they are feeling without them even saying it. Non-verbal communication is not present through phone calls, text messages and chat onFacebook (that's how I tried to contact my friend because I can't just show up at her house unannounced), which makes it even harder to figure out. what a person feels. This means you really need to describe what you feel and why you feel it to solve a problem. If I experienced this with another person in the future, I wouldn't want it to turn into a destructive conflict (ch 8) like it did with my friend. This is really weakening our relationship (ch 9) and I feel like it's partly because of my stubbornness in trying to contact her again after the last time she didn't respond to my message. I think I shouldn't be the one who keeps trying to make contact. If I find myself in this situation again, I will know that after a while and I haven't heard anything from them, it might be time for me to reach out again to see what's going on. I feel like at this point my relationship with my friend is fading (ch 10) and it's really sad. We had an intimacy based on friendship (ch. 11) where we were so close, almost like willing (fictional) parents (ch. 12) and could tell each other everything. Knowing what I know now about this conflict, if I encountered this with someone else, I think I would handle it a little differently. This friendship may be close. I think the fundamental tension technique that most applies to this situation is autonomy versus connection. Maybe my friend just needs some time to herself, and maybe I'm trying to connect with her or I'm too pushy to respond. Our connectivity and battery life levels might be a little different. Maybe my need to be connected is higher than hers, and she doesn't see a problem with not contacting someone for a while, while I, on the other hand, see it and I take this as a sign that she doesn't love me anymore. I feel like I participate more than she does in sharing the tasks of the relationship. So far she has not brought any maintenance to the relationship over the past few weeks while I have tried to communicate the problem and how I was feeling to her. Usually I don't have a high level of openness, but in this case I was very open about my feelings and what I feel is wrong, it seems like she doesn't care anymore. Regarding social penetration theory, this states that "as relationships develop, interpersonal communication moves from relatively superficial, non-intimate levels to deeper, more intimate levels" (Griffin, 2011), which is absolutely true for our relationship. We talked about things in detail, we told each other everything and we were always there for each other. I don't know what happened to that. Even when we stopped hanging out as much, I still messaged him, we could talk about our problems via text and have genuine, deep conversations. It's sad to think that it might be over now. I don't know if she still wants to talk to me. But personally, at this point, I don't really think she does, otherwise she would have contacted me by now. Social exchange theory “explains how we feel about a relationship with another person based on our perceptions of: The balance between what we put into the relationship and what we get out of it, the type of relationship we deserve, the chances of having a better relationship with someone else. (Straker, 2010) When it comes to social exchange theory, I really feel like I don't deserve this kind of relationship. I feel like I deserve a friend who wants to be there for me, who wants to talk to me, and who will try to make plans with me instead of me doing everything, 4(1), 58–69.