I never thought that being intelligent could be so exhausting and make me feel so empty. Ever since I was little, I have wanted to change the world. I wanted to do something that would impact the lives of those around me and make those close to me proud. It didn't matter what I did, as long as I was doing something to bring more positivity into our world and to show people that I was smart. I would see historical figures like Albert Einstein, who created the equation E=mc^2 and produced theories of relativity, and Leonardo da Vinci, who created the Mona Lisa and the Last Supper plays that are still known to this day. day, and think, “Hey, I can be like them one day.” Maybe I can invent or create something new that will change the world. Something that will be remembered for a long time. »Say no to plagiarism. Get a tailor-made essay on “Why Violent Video Games Should Not Be Banned”? Get an Original Essay I can tell you with certainty that being smart is not always as pleasant and easy as it seems. This can truly be a bloodbath for many. Intelligence is not just something you are born with, but it is something you must practice and improve. The amount of time, energy, and sacrifice it takes to actually be considered “smart” is ridiculous. I spent much of my time setting the highest and most exhausting expectations for myself to achieve what I saw others do to make my family and friends proud of me. I've had times where I really put my heart and precious time into something and got results that weren't as good as I expected. The first year was by far the worst and most stressful of my life. I assumed I could easily balance all those CP courses with an AP course when I decided to take them. I was arrogant and naive about my real abilities as an average student. I knew I was smart but I didn't know my breaking point. I started comparing myself to others, listening to them talk as if they had memorized the book perfectly. I read what my peers were writing and began to sink deeper and deeper into my chair, disappointed and embarrassed that I couldn't write as beautifully and fluently as they did. Every sentence my peers wrote was like an elegant, clean brushstroke on a canvas. My canvas, however, looked like a mess to me. I could never put what I wanted on paper as clearly as some of my other peers. I started pushing myself further and further, slowly wearing myself out. I felt lost, only thinking about the success of those around me, but I never took the time to reflect on what I accomplished. Because of this, my love for learning began to slowly fade away. I was ridiculed by my peers because I asked questions most of the time. It started to eat away at my confidence, until I had almost none left. I was simply a curious student who wanted to make sure what I knew was correct. As I grew up, I started to see school differently. It was more than just fun and games. School has become a competition. We were not young teenagers just wanting to learn. We were now teenagers competing against each other. See who had the most A's, the highest GPA, and who would get the most honor roll awards. I saw my friends showing off their honor roll or wearing their letterman jackets that reflected who they had become; successful. I told myself that I was not.