However, the result of external sanctions such as the negative question and stares put me in an uncomfortable position. As part of my particular violation of the gender norm, I felt that being polite and holding the door was appropriate, but with the addition of the negative comments about my actions from men, it was meant to remind me who I am and what gender I belong to. I was able to see how this position I was placed in during the violation could motivate me to comply and avoid certain behaviors in public. The socialization of gender behaviors stems from the concept of the nuclear family and how men are expected to be the head of the house or provider. Therefore, it is assumed that it is the man who should hold the door open or pull out a chair so that someone can sit and provide for a woman. Social control mechanisms such as gender socialization and external sanctions are used to ensure gender conformity.